Onward

Intentional Community was always a buzzword that I cringed at during my time at Taylor. I felt that it was overused and complete bullshit. Ironically, it was also the reason that I chose to go to Taylor because although it was overused and seemed fake there was still something about it. It wasn't until I hit the "real world" that I truly had a desire for this buzzword that I mocked so often before.

Through my time in Indy, I have had my deep friendships and deep communities, but most have moved around and shifted. Through life situations, we have all had our times where we are more intentional and times where we are less intentional. To be honest, it has left me feeling lonely at times. However, through the past few months, my desire to be connected and intentional has been stronger than it has been in a long time.

The Carrollton, the place I call home, became something so much more than just a place to host things and a place to sleep. It became a place of intentional community and a safe place for me. The humans that I have lived with for the past few months have retaught me what it looks like to challenge and be challenged. They have helped reminded me and helped me learn some pretty great things about what it means to love greatly. Here's just a few of the things that I have learned.

You're Not A Winner
Pretty much anyone who is close to me knows that I like to challenge others and there is a secret side to me that wants to always win. No one is a winner in relationships. As Marshall and Lily once said, "We need to stop keeping score." This is something that we do so often in relationships. We try to one up in the arguments, the jokes, and the relationship in general. Instead of winning we just end up hurt with a weakened relationship or none at all.

Receive Grace as well as Give Grace
Grace has always been a concept for me that isn't hard to grasp when it comes to giving it out. However, receiving grace isn't always the easiest for me. I don't like to let people down and I don't want to be the reason for people's pain. The Carrollton has taught me much about grace in the last few months. It has taught me that in order to truly grow in relationships we must have grace for ourselves as well as have grace for others. If we do not have grace for ourselves, we will be stunted and will not grow. We will not be able to give grace as freely when we cannot receive it for ourselves.

In This House We Talk About Our Feelings
Living with different communication styles isn't always the easiest thing to do. Communicating isn't always the most fun thing to do. Feelings just suck in general. Even in the midst of communication struggles, The Carrollton has helped me to relearn the importance of communication. It has helped me to understand that it is important to learn the communication styles of those you love in order to be able to have a better relationship with them. It has helped remind me that feelings and emotions can make communication messy, but that is the most important time to communicate. Without talking through emotions and feelings, we do not move forward but only backwards.

Slay Your Demons
This season of my life has only shown me that my demons are out to get me every minute of the day. The Carrollton has reminded me that those demons do not have power over me. This community has reminded me that the demons that I fight are not only mine to fight. I have been reminded of what it looks like to have humans who love me surround me with encouragement and the power to fight. Demons aren't that scary when you have people on your side to slay.

These aren't the few things that the Carrollton Community has taught me in the past few months, but they are definitely some of the key things that I have learned. To be honest, I was really bummed to put this chapter to rest at first but I am regularly reminded that this isn't the end. Living in a house with humans creates an automatic community, but leaving doesn't bring it to an end. The intentional community of The Carrollton will continue on even without the house itself and I am excited to see where it takes us. Here's to Christian buzzwords and how they can at times be completely necessary and accurate.