Over the past few years, stubbornness has become more of a major theme of my life. This stubbornness has not always been bad, but the bad does outweigh the good. I have noticed it more as the years have gone on, but let's be real I never wanted to actually deal with it. It wasn't until the other night that I truly wanted to deal with it and rid it of my life.
I tend to keep my friends updated on my life, my struggles, and just random thoughts of my day. This day in particular was a day of struggle and I was at the "end of my rope." It wasn't even that bad of a day, but it was just the right things thrown at me at just the right times. Anyway, I decided to let someone know that I was losing the battle and I did not feel like I could fight back. My friend had the nerve to be encouraging and to give me a hand back up off the ground. What a jerk, right? A friend who actually was helping me out through encouraging words and letting me know that I could fight back. It all sounds ridiculous, but my stubborn self was extremely irritated.
This is the life of stubbornness. It is a person who doesn't always want to get up when she is knocked down. It is a person who wants to feel the pain for a little bit longer even when there are people around to help her clean up the wound. It is a person who just wants to sit and sulk about life when others are there to help her get back on her feet. It is a person who just doesn't want to hear it because she doesn't think that anything good will come of it.
The truth is that I am sick of living this life. I am sick of letting the enemy get to me and tell me that all those around me who are helping are really hurting me. I am sick of getting irritated when I hear a bit of encouraging words because I don't think that I am worthy enough to hear them. The truth is that I am worthy enough to hear them. I do not deserve to let lies get me down and knock me to the ground because I am a child of God. I am worth so much more than what I have let myself believe in the past. It is time to let the stubbornness go and to start hearing truth more clearly.
