Susie Told Me to Run Away

I know that I have already written a "New Year, New You" post, but here is the continued learning from 2017 so far.

Many people haven’t had the greatest of things to say about 2016 and to be honest I don’t really have much good to say about it either. There were good times, but the reality is that 2016 wasn’t the greatest year overall for me. With 2016 leaving me bummed, I decided that 2017 had to be different. To move forward in the new year meant that I had to figure out what I wanted the new year to look like. With that being the case, I took a solo self exploration trip last weekend to Nashville to really think through things.

Here is what I learned:

1. I should runaway from my problems (Susie told me to).
2. Always tie up your imaginary horse.
3. Words don’t mean anything.

I should run away from my problems (Susie told me to)...
I had some time to meet with a good friend when I escaped from reality. During that time she told me that the best thing that I could do was run away from my problems. Okay, so what she really told me was that I needed to NOT run away from my problems. I have this tendency when people who care for me are telling me one thing that I hear the complete opposite.

During the last year, I spent a lot of time processing what was happening, but the truth is that I didn’t process what I needed to when I needed to. I allowed myself to get overburdened and I suppressed things that I didn’t want to deal with. Moving on meant growth and growth meant pain. I didn’t want to feel the pain. I didn’t want to go through my laundry list of issues that the year had brought on. I wanted to stop feeling inadequate and wanted to feel whole, but running away was the only thing I felt I could do.

Spending time with my dear friend last weekend helped me to let my guard down. It allowed me to take time to myself and really see how I needed to stop running and start dealing with what has been going on. I had time to spend alone and allow myself to think which allowed me to understand that I needed to wrestle through my issues. I was reminded that the only way to get through issues was to deal with them one at a time. Instead of running away, I need to run towards those issues and embrace them. I can only learn once I have started to actually handle

what is going on.

Always tie up your imaginary horse…

This really doesn’t have anything to do with anything except for the fact that Susie wanted me to add it in here. While we were walking through the woods, we saw a sign that said, “Please tie up your horse.” Susie made it a point to tell me to tie up my horse before we headed down to the river. I tied up my imaginary horse and we continued on to the river.

One thing that I can actually pull from this is that I have great friends that challenge me to be creative and imaginative. Even in the midst of anxiety, sadness, and chaos I have friends who provoke me to act like a child and to let loose. I have learned that it is in the times where everything feels so heavy that it is necessary to laugh and to have a good time. After all, they say that laughter is the best medicine.

Words don’t mean anything…

During my time of processing with Susie, I realized how this is a lie that I believe more than I would ever admit. I am as vulnerable as I want to be, but I have the tendency to keep myself from letting words affect me. I don’t take in compliments and allow myself to hear truth. I don’t allow myself to be hurt when I need to from the words spoken to me by dear friends. I don’t allow myself to be sad when I am put down. I don’t let words say what they are meant to say, but instead I allow myself to believe the lie that they don’t mean anything.

I want this year to be a year that I allow words to sink in, but not over think the words that are being said to me. I want words to hold the weight that they are supposed to hold. I want to think carefully through how I speak to and of others. The truth is that words have meanings for a reason and I need to be real about those meanings.

That my friends is what I learned on my solo weekend to Nashville. Even though 2016 wasn’t my favorite year, I believe that it has brought some thoughtful challenges for me to accept for 2017. I am ready to move forward this year and to allow myself to be renewed.