New Year, New You

The beginning of a new year always brings questions and challenges. We read statuses about "New Year, New You" and have conversations about who we want to become. We think through the all of the good times and the mistakes that we have made in the previous year. We take all of that only to start over new and wipe the slate clean. As the reminders have been strong around me over the past few days, I too have been thinking about what 2017 will bring.

To be completely honest, 2016 wasn't the greatest nor was it the worst. It definitely brought some challenges and at times I was knocked down, but I also had some pretty great times. The past couple of days have really challenged me and have challenged me in who I really want to be in 2017. I don't want to become someone new, but I do want to continue to grow in who I am. 

Here's what 2016 taught me:

Family is important. I care about my family and I appreciate them, but to be honest I haven't always been the closest to them. During the past year, I truly started to understand the importance of my family. Last year challenged me to be more of a support in my family and to be strong when it was hard for others to be. It challenged me to be there even when being there was the last thing I wanted to do.

Grace is necessary. Relationships are messy. As we get older, the messier they seem to get. We hurt others and are hurt by those who care for us. We break hearts and get ours broken. We have arguments and say things that we don't mean. The reality is that in the midst of all of the pain that we put each other through, we need grace. We need to show grace to each other and we need to show grace to ourselves because in the end those relationships that we fight for are worth it. 

Give grace, but speak truth. Being gracious doesn't mean not being honest. Be honest about what truly happened. Be honest with yourself about how you are hurting yourself. Be honest about telling others how you feel. Speak truth in order to give grace, grow, and move forward. We all need to hear truth in the midst of struggle because that is the only way we will grow.

Don't disregard feelings. I struggle with not talking about things with people because I feel that I am burdening them. We all have those constant struggles that we go through and it is easy to push those aside. However, the reality is that we still need to be real about what is happening in our lives. Just because we have a reoccurring struggle does not make it any easier to handle. It reoccurs for a reason and there is a deeper root. We have to keep talking through them and being real about how it is affecting us. 

Here's to what I am going to do in 2017:

Continue to be a better sister and daughter. I want to continue to grow and be there for my family. I want to be challenged by my family and I want to make more memories with them.

Accept grace and give grace to myself. I want to continue to learn how to be gracious towards others, but I want to be able to more fully receive grace. I want to be able to own the mistakes I make and to give myself the grace I need to grow. I want to be able to accept grace from others and to see my true worth.

Be honest and communicate more often. I don't want to allow situations to get to the point where they break me or to a point where I hurt others. I want to continue to communicate more clearly with those who I am in community with but also be able to be vulnerable when necessary. 

Be real with emotions even when they seem stupid. I want to continue to learn how to embrace what I am feeling in order to grow. I want to grow in owning situations and learn how to better process through them. 

Last year started to shape me into a better human and I want to continue to become a better version of that person. I have set the typical resolutions, but these are goals that I really want to continue in 2017. I don't want to start over, I want to become better. Here's to the new year.