In Response To Sarah Tabb

I see an epidemic of men being boys.
by Sarah Elizabeth Tabb on Monday, September 20, 2010 at 1:47pm

I attend a Christian university. I love the spiritual atmosphere. I love all the ministries I can be involved with. I love the amazing spiritual leaders I meet who challenge me in my faith. But there is an epidemic spreading across the Christian community of twenty-somethings. This is an epidemic of men being boys.

I guess I can blame my dad for this one. My dad has set the standard on being a man of God. My dad is the spiritual leader in my family. He challenges me with his faith, and always faithfully follows Christ no matter how crazy it might seem. He doesn't give up on ministries when they are struggling. He has always been a consistent part of my life. He is what a biblical father should be.

So I guess maybe I have unrealistic expectations of what I see in a man of God. Maybe I've just been surrounded by the best. But here's the thing: I am so sick of watching boys raise their hands in chapel, be ministry majors, talk about social injustices and a love of global missions, and then see absolutely no action.

Every ministry in this school struggles to have men participate. And it is not just this school. It is across every Christian campus. And it is not because of the ratio. Last time I checked, the ratio was not 20 to 1. (It's 3:2 at the WU). Every world impact team struggles to have boys come (when I went to the dominican, there were two boys...eight girls). Every time I turn around, a girl is leading a ministry, starting a ministry, going wherever God leads her. But I see very few men.

I see ministry majors who talk about all these great ministries they want to do someday, doing absolutely nothing now. I see boys who have never stepped off the bypass. Maybe do a "clean up marion" day, but nothing consistent. No time?

No excuse. I see girls making the time. I saw every boy make time for the Colts game yesterday. It comes down to one thing: priority.

So I am really losing patience. When we had twenty girls at the ReaLife retreat, and seven boys total (from IWU and TU COMBINED), I started to get discouraged. Will I ever meet a man of God who can challenge me in my faith and be a stronger leader than me?

And the most discouraging part is there are some parts of ministry that I can't help with because I am a woman (that is very difficult for me to say). For instance, the inner city kids ministry I am a part of needs men. I cannot be the positive male role model that these kids so desperately need. And what frustrates me the most is this: when a boy comes a few times, maybe a whole year, and then drops the kids, he is proving to the children that all men are going to leave them, and a Christian man is no different. They will all leave you. I do not want that to be the message these kids get. Because I do know some men of God. I know some men who have stepped up to the plate and been spiritual leaders.

But I have seen so many boys give up when things get difficult in a ministry. I have seen so many boys sit back, and let girls do all the leading. And honestly, it breaks my heart. I see so much potential and so much laziness. And I meet girl after girl after girl who is a women of God. I see them starting ministries, non-profit organizations, and spreading the gospel and God's love to all of Marion. I see them investing in relationships with the unloved.

So boys, this is my challenge to you. STEP UP TO THE PLATE. It is time to be a man. It is time to take come action.

And if you decide to keep sitting down and let the girls take all the leadership and ministry roles, don't you dare complain about girls being too assertive. Because I know there is no way I will let God's ministry suffer because there are too many boys and not enough men. If no one will fight the battle, I'm going to pull a Deborah and do it myself.

If you have stepped up to the plate and are a man of God, thank you so much. It makes my heart rejoice to see a true man of God in some of you young men.

And most of all, thanks Dad, for showing me what a man of God truly is.

Here's to you Sarah Tabb...

I have this to say....I completely agree. I am sick and tired of seeing all these "men" on our campuses act like they are doing so much. Walking around, talking in their Bible scholarly language, and really letting everyone know how much they know about Jesus. Day in and day out, I sit in classrooms with these boys and hear them have so many "smart" things to say, but let me say this...saying is not the same as doing. Most of the ministry majors that I know are more content with hanging out with their girlfriends or scoring more points on Nazi Zombies.

However, with that to say...where does this lack of want come from? Where does this lack of not wanting to get involved TRULY come from? Who's responsibility is it to train these boys to be true men of God. First of all, let's go back to most of the neighborhoods where our boys are from. Not to stereotype, but most of our boys do come from the suburbs. And here's the thing, I do know a few families in the burbs who do raise their boys up to be men of God, but to be honest, that is few. Most of the boys who I know have never really been pushed in their faiths at their churches in the burbs. They have grown up in this Christian suburbian bubble where they get involved because it is the right thing to do or their families are involved in the church. They go to youth groups and trips because their friends are there and in reality don't really get outside of this bubble. They go through hardships and struggles, but have to keep their mouths shut because it will hurt their image of their family. And the bubble continues on. The first blame...burbs. A great clean place to grow up, but not really the most challenging spiritually.

Not only does the burbs bubble add to this lack of growth, but the idea of serving is really not a regular idea that is put into the minds of our boys who grow up in this kind of environment. Sure, they may give their money to different associations and may give a turkey or two at Christmas time, but why? Serving is yet another thing to show how great they are at helping mankind. A great pat on the back.

So, here we have these boys coming from these backgrounds and they get into another bubble. Welcome to the Christian College life. Here we prepare you to get involved in so many things and be such great leaders...but really, what are we preparing you for? Here we have these great role models to show you exactly how you need to grow and to be pushed so that you will become a great leader...oh wait. Not exactly true. Here...we put on another front. We don't allow you to share your struggles or what is going on in your life. No, no sir. You cannot be real because if you are...what kind of man are you? If you are, what kind of leader are you? You have to be the strongest. You have to be on top. You are at your top, you have grown. You are such a strong strong leader. See this is the problem in our Christian school systems. We create this lie that you are spiritually mature. We create this problem where we do not push our boys to be men. We do not push them to take the next step. We do not challenge what they are saying. Yes, I agree that they need to grow up and take that step out on that limb, but what are we doing as they are not deciding to? If we are the body of Christ, then how are we fixing this problem? We need to step up to. The men on our campuses, the professors, the pastors, the bros, the whoever need to challenge these boys. The girlfriends, the friends, the sisters in Christ need to challenge these boys. We need to push back and help them step up.