Often times when I am going through Spiritual warfare, I imagine myself being the "patient" in the Screwtape Letters. I imagine myself in these battles as I am starting to win how the Devil is only plotting his next move. I suppose it is a strange thought to find myself in the middle of fake conversations between demons in a book written by C.S. Lewis, but minds have to be imaginative every once in a while.
The latest battle that I have been dealing with is being an inadequate human being. This is an odd thing for me to admit as I appear to be fairly confident on the outside, but even I have to have human qualities I guess. The true battle that lies within this fear of inadequacies is allowing the Devil's lies to steer it rather than the truth of God. It's so much easier to hear the lies over the truth and convenience wins over challenge. At least that is what the enemy tells us and I have found myself following that more often than not lately.
The truth is that with transition comes new struggles, new challenges, or past ones that are revisited. Moving down to Indy has been a great thing for me and God has truly been working in me since I have been here. I have felt what it means to have the joy of the Lord within me again. I have rediscovered what passion is and have grown in my passions. However, as I have been growing, I have fallen into a spiritual battlefield. The great truths that the Lord has revealed to me are manipulated and twisted into the lies that the Devil wants me to believe. I have fallen into the comparison of myself with others down here in a wide variety of areas. I see greatness happening all around me and instead of being encouraged, I see how I have fallen short and I am not good enough. Allowing vulnerability for a defeat by the enemy.
This is where I have to start my own plan of counteracting the attacks that are thrown my way. I can either allow my flaws and short comings bring me down and fall into a pit of self pity or I can allow the Lord to work through those. Anxiety and fear have no place where the truth of the Lord resides and in this I can find true confidences. I am human and I do have flaws just like all of those who surround me who I compare myself to. Even with all of my imperfections and downfalls as a human being, I can have faith in the fact that God will strengthen me through those. I cannot be afraid of the pain that comes along with that process, but instead embrace it. Embracing flaws brings on a more complete picture of not only God, but the body of Christ that surrounds us. Here's to further challenges within 2013 and moving forward.
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