I have started to discover more and more of how relaxed I am about the future. The question is...is this necessarily a bad thing? I would not say that it is, but more of a blessing I suppose. My brother and I headed out to Savage's the other night. As we were driving, we talked of how this is not really home to us anymore. Our heart isn't here, but on the west coast...sounds like some sappy emo song, but it's true. We look at the Midwest and see the same old thing every freaking day. The same old people in the same old places. No one leaves here, they stick around and hang out with the same people. Their drinking buddies from high school are still their drinking buddies today. Still working the same old burnt out jobs and really doing nothing with their lives. Everyone knows everyone's name...not a bad thing, but we need an adventure. We need a change of scenery. Let's be real, we are itching to get out of here and to have a real good time. It's time for a change.
I mean, I think it is awesome to be able to know everyone in my small town. It's great to be known when I walk into a store, but it is much greater for me to be unknown. I like people now knowing who I am and having to actually take the time to get to know me. What's the fun of living when everyone already knows everything about me? Everyone knows that I am planning on getting the heck out of here when I am done. Most have guilted me about it, letting me know that I have something good here. They don't know why I would ever leave and go anywhere else. To go somewhere that is new to me and unknown is so crazy to them. It's dangerous out there, they tell me...so what, bring it on. I could stick around here in Upland's safety net or I could live a little. Why not do it while I can?
I love this town. I love the people in it. I love my high school kids, but I have lived it. I have been used and I am still being used. However, God has different things for me, I know it. It's time to go seek those things.
Here I come.
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